stick 'em up...

there ought to be a law against manual shift vehicles. I had the exhilarating experience of driving one of them today...

One of our responsibilities at work is moving the maintenance vehicles if it snows, so the parking lot can be plowed. So, tonight, in March, we had snow. And I had to move the vehicles. "No problem," I stupidly thought.

Right.

The first vehicle hadn't been driven in awhile, and I had to dig it out under about a foot of snow. After finding the door under the snow, I was able to get in...

and almost got stuck.

The normal driver, I think, must be a midget, because I was instantly squashed into the van, and very cramped. I could have moved the seat back, but found it impossible to move enough to bend forward to reach the seat controls. Thus, I managed to drive, kissing the dashboard and stuffed into a tiny space like some circus contortionist.

And I congratulated myself on a job well done.

Until I opened up the next vehicle and saw that it was a manual shift. Did I mention that I don't drive manual shift? Or that I do... but that I don't do it well -- or often?

*sigh*

Being used to an automatic, I insert key, and try to turn on engine. Nothing.

I think, "Oh, great, the engine's dead," and proceed to take the key out. The key will not come out. I make sure the gear is in neutral. It is. Key is still stuck. What the...?!

About the time I discovered the little release lever by the ignition, it dawns on me that manuals have a clutch.

Right, then...

So now that I can get the key out, I decide to try again, with the clutch. The engine, of course, turns over. I am happy. Until I try to reverse. I stall. I realize I have to keep my foot ON the clutch. I manage to get the truck reversed. I go to shift into drive, and the truck promptly dies. This happens several times, whereupon I notice two important things, but unfortunately, not at the same time. The parking brake is still on, and so, I turn it off. Who parks on a flat surface with a parking brake? Okay, so that's done, I *think* I'm home free. Anyone who drives a manual know what I'm still doing wrong? After several more attempts to drive forward, and not going anywhere, it finally dawns on me that you start out in first gear, not drive. So, I push in the clutch (pray) and *slowly* shift into first. And I accellerate, and take foot off clutch... and we actually move!

I wonder if anyone was watching...