almost done

well, this is the last week of clinicals for the summer. i've made it... anyway, i think i've made it. i've given shots, hung i.v. bags and other fun stuff. i have not however, done a foley cath yet. my teacher told us today to remind her if we haven't gotten a chance to perform a skill yet. great. so guess what i'll probably do tomorrow? yeah! okay, i'm being sarcastic. it's not exactly on my "things i want to do" list, but it is something i need to do (on a real person), and soooo...

anyway, its probably best if i don't think about it... and just get in there and do it.

actually, i'm kinda proud of myself. a few years ago, even the mere thought of performing such a procedure would have made my insides shrivel in horror. okay, it still kinda does -- but then, i probably wouldn't have been able to do it.

okay, so i'm shy. i couldn't even say the names of certain parts of anatomy without turning bright red and stuttering. its not like i shout them out now, but at least i can say the correct term without feeling like i've just blurted out a swear word.

needless to say, my nursing education has been an iteresting path. i've cringed alot and thought, "i can't do this!", but i got through it and realized i could to it and it wasn't as bad as i thought.

in fact, i've actually really enjoyed the past eight weeks. i've been applying the skills i learned and actually working with real patients and helping them, and it's just like everything is clicking into place. there were a few times there last semester that i wondered if i'd made the right choice and if i could even do this. i found that it is very difficult to juggle work school and a family, and sometimes, i wanted to give up and quit school. it was hard; i was tired, and worn out, and sometimes i thought i couldn't do it. but i told myself i would do clinicals and if i could get through that, i could do it. if i hated it, then i would know it wasn't for me. and i discovered that i'd found my niche. working with people, and helping them, and realizing that i could do this stuff was just so amazing. this is definately what i want to do with my life. its definately my calling.

when i started this rotation, i was petrified. i wasn't sure if i could make it in a hospital setting, or if i would remember what i was supposed to do; but every week, i got through it, and learned a little more.

so 8 weeks of clinicals have gone by, and tomorrow is review day -- so i find out if i passed. i think i did.

that would be ironic; here i am talking about the wonderful experience i had, and then i find out i was an abysmal failure. hmmmm.... don't think so.

well, at any rate, i'll find out tomorrow.