mother's day

a letter to my son:

dear clay,

this was my first year as a mother and it was pretty special. i am so lucky, so blessed to have you. you are perfect, healthy, and you are such a happy baby. i couldn't ask for more. i remember last year at this time, i was pregnant with you and i was so happy, and so excited. i couldn't wait to have you. i would talk to you and sing to you and wonder what you were going to be like when i finally met you. you were so special, so wanted. i think that no other baby was ever loved or wanted more, but i bet every momma says that to her baby.

when your dad and i first found out we were going to have you, we were so excited. i took the test and held my breath and waited for the results. and then i was afraid to trust the home pregnancy test, so we went to the doctor's and took another test. and it was postitive. we were both so happy.

the first time i heard your heartbeat was at 13 weeks. it was the most amazing sound i've ever heard in my life. your heartbeat! its hard to explain how much awe i felt knowing that there was a tiny little life inside me; it was this overwhelming love and happiness. knowing you were okay was the most comforting feeling in the whole world. when i was listening to your little heartbeat, it didn't matter that our country was at war; for a moment, all else was forgotten, everything but you that is. only you mattered.

i didn't get the ultrasound until about 15 weeks, and i couldn't wait to see you moving around. you sure liked to kick alot! I still have your ultrasound pictures. I always will. they are so precious. you were so perfect and tiny, in your own little world, growing and developing into the sweet little boy you are today. my baby... my son.

and someday, you will read this, and you wont' be a baby at all, but a man. you'll be having your own children, and then you too, will understand the miracle of life, and the wonder of being a parent.

but for now, i get to live that wonder and know that every day is a miracle. and every day spent with you is a privilige. and with you, dear one, i'll treasure every minute.

love,

mom