one year later...

My blunt opinions on politics, which are sometimes rather outspoken, usually get me in trouble... but it happened to be how Nick noticed me. I couldn't help but notice him. And so, it was exactly a year ago that Nick and I started emailing each other, and its been a wonderful journey together. I consider myself quite lucky to have him. He has always been there for me, and his thoughtfulness and sensitvity to me never ceases to amaze me. He always knows when to call, and what to say to cheer me up -- and he's my rock -- steady and strong and calm, the voice of reason when I get overwhelmed and start to worry too much.

Just hearing his voice brings a smile to my face, no matter how long the day has been; even when I'm grumpy, he always cheers my heart and makes me wonder why I was ever grumpy in the first place.

He is the most awesome guy in the world. I suppose when you really fall in love, that you feel like you have never felt this way about anyone before, no matter how mad crushes you've had... but that's how I feel. Like he's the first guy who I fell in love with, and anthing I felt for anyone else before was pale in comparison. Guess he was the guy who stole my heart. :)

He always finds thoughtful ways to suprise me and show his love, and today was no exception. As I was giving monty a bath (from his early moring episode), there was a knock on the door and I carred the dripping dog to the door and there was the Fed-Ex guy, with a delivery -- of flowers. I assumed they were for my mom, since it was hers and dad's wedding anniversary yesrterday.

But then, I looked at the box closer, and it was for me!!!! Inside, I found not one dozen, but 18 beautiful long stemmed roses from my honey. Wow, I feel spoiled. They are gorgeous... they are wonderful. So is he. ;)

I've never gotten flowers delivered before, it was quite fun. :D Whooo-hoooo!!!!

And, I must say, it was a much better present than Monty left me this morning. :P

what a great morning

Today I woke up to the fresh smell of chein de parfume... *sigh* Actually, I can think of a better term, and perhaps the French don't have a word for it. There is a word that aptly describes in the English language, but its not a very nice word... Apparently, Monty chose the one morning I had to sleep in, to have a bad case of diarrhea -- all over himself, his blanket, and his pet carrier. The pet carrier looked liked a disaster area. Monty looked a bit shell shocked himself. Ahhhhh, the joys of parenting.

Whoever writes that sappy poetry about waking up to the smell of sunshine and spring most emphatically never had a pet. Because with pets, those aromas are not exactly what you wake up to... er... odors, more like it.

Perhaps he's preparing me for parenthood... (okay, that's a scary thought!!!)

another exciting day

Nick called me yesterday and cheered me up, it was quite nice to hear his voice. But as for the old bro, there's not a whole lot I can do for him. Anyway, I'm in a bit of a better mood, as I came to the conclusion that worrying and fretting is completely useless.

So then I read the paper today, and it was full of fretting and worrying. But I did spot some rather... er... interesting news. Because of its absurdity, perhaps, it stood out to me. A woman, who runs a "topless maid" business (don't ask), is apparently suing her city because they have shut her down, claiming she was operating without a liscense, because she used her cell phone to do business instead of her business phone. She is irate, and suing for discrimination she feels is being shown her "because she isn't a member of the Church of Latter Day Saints". She lives, of all places, in Salt Lake City, Utah... (apparently neighbors were complianing of her strange habit of doing yard work in her bikini). Apparently, they have no mosquitos in SLC... And the score?
Mormons - 1 = Unemployed maid - 0

On about the same level, John Kerry has been shooting off at the mouth again, with his outrageous lies and promises. Yup, he's gonna lower taxes and gas prices and boost the economy... just like he's the brave war hero he claims to be, when actually he came home early, and spend the rest of his time protesting the war and smarming with idiots like Jane fonda while his comrades and REAL soldiers risked their lives in Vietnam.

Or perhaps, one can wonder why he took part in a medal throwning ceremony, in which there are pictures of him tossing "his" war medals over the white house fence... which calls in to question how he is displaying them in his office. See here for more details at a VVAW (Vietnam Vets Against War) site.

It amazes me that such a liar and two faced twit could even get as far as he has in the election run.

And then we have Clarke, eager to make a buck, changing his story and making a profit on the death and suffering of the terrorist victims. It amazes me that he clearly stated that one thing -- two years ago -- and now, interestingly enough, when he's got a book deal -- he says a completely different story. Clarke and Kerry could be brothers. They are certainly cut from the same cloth.

And then we have the media critisizing the sucesseful attemp on terrorist Hamas leader. I only wonder why it hasn't happened sooner? And why are people critisizing this? This man who has helped bring about countless deaths with his orders for suicided bombming missions?
Isreal - 1 = Terrorists - O (May they have many more victories, since they are the only ones who seem to recognize a terrorist leader for what he is)

He deserved to die, and the Palestininas crying "foul" only show that they are as much a terrorist as he is. They dont' want peace!!! They want land, and they won't rest until Israel is not only out of the Middle East, but wiped off the face of the Earth.

In the first place, I cannot comprehend how the media can critisize Isreal for killing a Hamas leader who has killed and attacked thier country for years, but says Bush didn't act fast enough and is therefore responsible for 9-11. Where's the logic there?

Leave Kerry at it, and you'll no doubt have Jane Fonda making a delegation over to the Middle East, smarming withe Bin Laden and Yassir Arafat, telling them she was on THIER side and how bad the American governemt is...

No doubt Kerry would do a great disservice to our country if he became president. He did enough damage during Vietnam. Thanks to Kerry, there are POW's and MIA's that will never be found because he blocked countelss attempts to find out of there were indeed, still living POW's in Vietnam.

An Intersting Letter to the "Times" by Foreign Service Officer and former POW

Vietnam Veterans Against John Kerry

Perhaps most damaging of all, would be the story from the other side:
Kerry's Vietnam Vets Against the War

I guess its really what you want for a country. A spineless puppet who tells lies to please the people, or someone who tells the people the truth, when they don't want to hear it?

when life hands you lemons.... throw them at people who are annoying you.

Well, my posts as of late have been few and far between -- but its a bit hard to write about what's been going on without sounding like a.) a drama queen, or b.) I'm complaining. *sigh*

I should have realized when my brother told me that he wasn't sure he could make it to my wedding because he didn't want to "let his boss down at work"; that family meant nothing to him.

But... as he has taken off again, and no one knows where he is -- including his ruddy probation officer, its quite certain, that not only will he not be able come to my wedding, once he does get caught, he'll go right back to jail.

Once there, he can prattle about how many changes he's made... and continue to tell me that I'm doing everything wrong.

But then, back to him coming to my wedding (when he still could have) I don't really think he cared what his boss thought; he made another excuse, saying he wasn't sure he approved of this marriage -- didn't know if he liked this Nick guy, and that he wanted to talk to him to make sure he (Nick) was the right guy for me. Dunno what for...

But I dunno if I'm gonna have much to write about for awhile. As this is all that's on my mind at the moment, its rather pointless to talk about it. Not like there's anything I or anyone else can do, but ... one needs to vent sometimes.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

After that political speel, you deserve a generous portion of humor, with some irony on the side. Well, perhaps you don't derserve the irony, per se, but as it so happens, it comes with today's special - my exciting life.

Today, I had to help my parents pick up a freezer they had ordered from Sears; and, after we had gotten the thing in the truck, we decided that it would be fun to go to McDonalds and have Shamrock shakes. It was, after all, St. Patty's day.

We also decided to do lunch, and since the dog was with us, we we tryng to figure out how to keep the food away from him and get it distributed. Mom was trying to hand Dad his food - Dad was sitting in the back, and was not really paying attention to the chaos up front. But when mom turned to hand him his bag of food, he didn't notice, and therefore didn't take it right away.

Meanwhile, the shakes sat *safely* in the drink holder, perched on her lap, and as she turned to hand the food to Dad, the shakes migrated slowly southward, towards the Knee region, and then, it was off the cliffs of her knees to the great chasm of the truck's floor beyond. I'm trying to pull into a parking spot, but I'm yelling that the shakes are falling, mom is yelling for Dad to grab his food and Dad, bless his soul, is wondering what the hurry is.

Dad takes his food - and his shake - (notice the emphasis on his here -- he is quite unconcerned at this point), but it is too late for our shakes. About half of the contents of each cup is splattered on the floor; a very green, very ice creamy, gooey mess.

Luckily, I have a puppy; which means, that like any good parent, I have to be prepared. I have a towel, and baby wipes, and a plastic bag, for accidents. It comes in quite handy, and as mom is trying to wipe up the shake mess, the dog jumps onto the floor and laps up the stuff in rapturous joy. He now has a green beard, and does not want to let mom wipe up the rest of the shake mixture, but she's ready to get back inside.

We go back through the drive-though and re-order a shake (since there was about half of a shake in each cup, we managed to salvage one shake. Of course they recognize us (one tends to stand out with a dog in the car that has traces of green shake on his face and is grinning like a maniac). After giving the McDonald's employees a good laugh, we head for home.

As I carefully round a corner, I hear a sound of panic from the back. "Arughhhh!!!!"
I hit the brakes and look in the rearview mirror. "What???!!" I ask, sure that we have lost the freezer.
"I dropped my cup," my dad says. This is all he says.
"Oh, no," I say, "is there a mess?" (my truck!!!!!)
"No," Dad says, casually. "The cup did a flip and landed upright and the lid even stayed on." He thought this was a somewhat interesting display of science. I was just glad my truck wasn't covered in any more green.

I don't think I'll be lettin people be eatin' shakes in me car, now.

Getting home was interesting then... but getting the freezer inside was... a challenge. I tried to back the truck up to the door and one parent is yelling one instruction, and the other parent is yelling something else. I finally let my dad back up, and my mom was still yelling, "go riiiight, go righhhht". *sigh*

After much careful maneuvering, we got the freezer to the door -- and inside. The yard now looks like the Grand Canyon, with the deep ruts the truck has put in it, and the drive way looks like a mud boggers dream. Fine for a truck, bad for a car.

We managed to unload the freezer, amidst a barking and excited dog, a cat that decided it was a good time to puke, and a phone that was ringing as soon as we pulled in the driveway.

Now I'm at work and as ironic as it is, I finally have some peace and quiet. I thought one got peace and quiet when they left work...

on loving your enemies

Just read a news article in which there as a poll that states that the Muslim majority countries in the middle east are suspicious that we are trying to "take over the world" and that they are even in support of Bin Laden.

Makes you wonder why we even care about people that want us dead?! Other than the fact that Jesus tells us to love our enemies, pray for them that despitefully use us, and to bless them that curse us, I don't have an answer to that one.

Guess that command really fits us now. Don't know WHY they hate us so much (and they hated us before we ever went to Iraq, or why the newspapers (American at that) would take into consideration the thoughts of people who support Bin Laden. If it were just to show waht the enemy was thinking, so we could be on guard, that would be one thing; but they have continually spouted forth anti-American rhetoric for a long time now.

It makes you wonder who's side they're really on? It makes you wonder why they refuse to talk about the good that our soldiers are doing, and the difference they have made. yes, there is chaos, and yes, there are still attacks, but wake up people!!! That has been going on long before our soldiers set foot on that soil and will continue long after they leave.

Anyway, why does this bother me so much? Because I have friends who have been in Iraq, and I have freinds who are going there. In fact, one of the guys who was going to stand for us in the wedding is being shipped out and will be unable to do so now.

So it would be nice, no matter how much the outside world hate us, if the American press could at least pretend to support our troops.

Forget the election, forget Kerry and his mud-slinging campaign or Bush and all the mistakes he's accused of making by people that didn't do a thing when ... never mind... well, forget Bush, whatever you think of him.

Just think of the troops that are sacrificing everything for their - our - country, and support them with your thoughts and prayers, and even a note of encouragement. Our newspapers sure aren't doing a very good job of it.

And perhaps, like Jusus, we should pray for the people who write the newspapers, and hope that one day, they will seek the Truth, and do our troops justice.

One last thought...

I was told the other day, by a good friend, that I would argue with a fencepost and get lost walking home, or take the wrong road home, or something to that effect...

Did he talk to my mother? My mom thinks I make my decisions based on what is the least popular opinion and that I always choose the harder, more difficult path. She wonders why I have to be so different all the time. Hmmmmm...

We didn't have a t.v. growing up, we read books, and this fosters much creativity and independent thinking. Anyway, this is one of my favorite poems, because I have always wanted to take that road, see what's there that not as many have seen before...

The Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.



(From The Poetry of Robert Frost by Robert Frost, edited by Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright 1916, 1923, 1928, 1930, 1934, 1939, 1947, 1949, © 1969 by Holt Rinehart and Winston, Inc. Copyright 1936, 1942, 1944, 1945, 1947, 1948, 1951, 1953, 1954, © 1956, 1958, 1959, 1961, 1962 by Robert Frost. Copyright © 1962, 1967, 1970 by Leslie Frost Ballantine.)

and to think...

My friend Andy has all the adventure. I just read his blog, where he was dismayed to discover that mice had built a nest... under the hood of his car, on the engine block. Hmmmmm... apparently, they hadn't been there last week when he checked the oil.

But he went on to say that he disposed of the nest! Hehehe.. i bet he got a few stares at the gas station. Probably a few old timers thinking, "when was the last time he checked HIS oil", too... Ah, well, the story amused me. But my first thought was, Andrewwwwww!!! Were there any baby mouseys in there? I hope not. Baby mice are so cute!!! I was helping a friend move out of her mom's house, lol, to protect her mom from sheer mortification, I shall not mentino which friend it was...

But anyway, the chick had a captains bed. Bad idea, those captains beds, as you can't properly clean under the things. Well, we discovered many things that she had lost, under that bed, like a Barbie backpack, and crayons, and some very out of style clothes... that were kinda chewed up. It was thus that we discovered a proper mouse's nest, complete with babies. Lots of babies. Who still had their eyes closed. Their mum did what every good mum would do in her situation (i hope not) -- she panicked and ran. Except, being that she was trapped in the inside of a captain's bed, she ran around and around, but did not get out.

Did I write about this already? I can't remember. Oh well. Anyway, the friend I was helping move, decided it was a good idea to kill the mother mouse, and she did a noteworthy job of it. But now, we had 6 helpless babies, that no one wanted to kill -- it seemed to cruel and heartless. I mentioned to my friend that it was a good job she killed the mother as now the babies had no way of surviving, and she said that was the idea. *sigh*

After much arguing, and some convincing, and alot of calling around, we all piled into the car and headed to a pet shop and pet supply store, where the woman put the babies in with some rats she was raising.

Apparently, some people, like me, think they are cute.

I probably shouldn't write this story, as Nick will be completely horrified and have nightmares about pet mice sitting on the counter, eating his Wheatabix, and smirking at him... (should we be unlucky enough to have mice, they can have the stuff, it tastes dreadful).

But at any rate, what a surprise that would be!!! I hope that I don't find any nests on MY engine block!!! With the kind of luck I have, some hornets will build a nest under my hood.

Hey, I'm not a pessimist... really, I'm not!

life's like that...

I read in the paper to day that the Environmentalists are attacking the Farmers again in the form of some kind of kinky well fee, where, apparently, if you have a "high capacity" pump in your well, you will be charged this outrageous fee... Our great and wonderful Legislature passed this law, and Gov. Doyle has to sign it. I wrote to him and asked him not to. If you are a Wisconsin citizen that's likes your bread and butter, you should write too. At the rate that taxes are going on farmers, we'll be drinking powdered milk and putting margerine on our bread and potatoes. Do it for the Cows!!!

Write to Gov. Doyle and ask that he not sign the bill.

Okay, now on to other tasks... Did i mention that margarine was bad for you? That if you left it sitting alone on a shelf for years it would remain virtually the same, unspoiled and unchanged?

Okay really, now, I'll really change my topic. :P

The wedding plans are coming along nicely. Nick and I are still looking for a house. Pray that we'll find a nice house, in the area I want (which is quite specific), and by a good church, since it looks like we shall have to find one of those, too.

Guess that's what happens when you move! So many decisions to make about everything.

My sister Michelle told me that they actually have pet tuxes at PetSmart, I believe... my dog could be a groomsman yet. I have visions of him peeing on the pulpit, though. Not a good thought.

Well, my shift is done in one hour!! Ah... sleep at last!

having a bad day yet?

I spent the weekend feeling sorry myself, as I had to work, and had a horrific cold. Thus, I was glad when my shift ended earlier yesterday and I could go home. I called one of my freinds who had been a counsellor at a week-end retreat. As it turns out, it was anything BUT a retreat... for her anyway.

In charge of a team of rowdy and hyperactive grade school aged kids, one of her tasks was helping them complete a race down the hill -- in an inner tube. It was called the Tube Run, and apparently, that's exactly what it turned out to be as she flew wildly down the hill, hitting every bump and icy spot possible, tearing her pants and scraping herself on the rough snow.

This would have been bad enough, but now her pants, AND knickers are completely ripped in the rear, and provided an open window for all when she stood up. She had to borrow someone's coat, and then walk all the way UP the hill, amidst the stares of all who saw it. And of course, no one missed it.

She says the only good thing was that the coordinators of the event arwarded her team like half a million points because she was such a good sport about it and said they deserved the points for going through all that.

However, it was the most amusing thing that happened all weekend, and some people could not let her forget it. Someone even thought it was higly amusing to give her some "Butterfingers" candybars as a consolation. *sigh*

Oh did, I mention it was a retreat with her church? It's not like she'll never see these people again. Imagine being known as the official church mooner...

To say the least, she was glad to get home.

And I thought I had a bad weekend.

But that brings me to another rather rebellious thought, that should I ever be told I am no longer welcome in someone's company because of what I believe, then perhaps being remembered as "the mooner" might have a small twinge of satisfaction.

Yes, shame on me, but I can't help it. But, for the people that are going through this right now, you have my consolation.

its spring.... well, it's supposed to be...

Today, when I stepped outside, the wind assaulted me and turned my hair into a wild mess and plastered my clothes to me, making me look like an instant cheap imitation of a rock star. Hmmm... cheap and rock star look... sounds do-able, except they pay $400 for a pair of pants that look like my dog got ahold of 'em. Well, anyway, my pants clung to my legs and then billowed out on the sides, making my shoes look large and clunky. Perhaps "rock star" is not the most fitting term, mabye "clown" would work better. After all, it WAS cold, and I do have a cold, so I even have the red nose.

Ah, its nice to keep that professional, crisp look about myself, as a security officer.

I can tell its going to be a spectacular day. :P

patience... the much sought after holy grail...

it seems that whenever I TRY to be patient, everything happens at once and, like Indiana Jones, the quest is perilious and frought with danger... okay... well not danger for ME, but for those unfortunate enough to be the object of my loss, or lack of, patience. *sigh*

I watched the Passion the other day, and I'll speak more of that later, but after watching it, I thought of the suffering he willingly went through -- for us, and after seeing it -- was amazed at his love, and his forgiveness and pity for others. There was no anger, even towards the most brutal of his attackers.

And I decided to treat everyone with love and have kindness, and be kind even when people weren't kind to me.

Thus was my discovery, as I mentally reviewed my "progress" this weekend, was that I am still far from perfect, and quite the opposite. In fact, I don't know if you could call it progress, per se.... unless it is progress to realize you did not progress... yet.

First off, my cheerful mood was shattered when, after I made a rather innocent comment to a coworker, he took offense and my supervisor came and had a little chat with me. Apparently, you can't ask people if they had fun when they went out with a fellow co-worker, because it might be construed as an insinuation that said two people are dating and that is starting a rumor. Of course, I reacted quite well... not. Instead of having feelings of kindness toards this person, I indulged myself with feelings of self-pity let my irritation with this person grow.

Then, "Hidalgo" finally came out -- a movie about horses, and a mustang, no less -- and I went to see it with some friends. As luck would have it, we sat behind 3 tittering old ladies that talked in loud stage whispers throughout the whole movie, exclaiming over everyting, and ooohing and ahhing and speaking out in alarm when something bad was about to happen. If I hadn't been trying to hear the movie, perhaps it would have been funny. Or, perhaps, if I had had the right attitude all along, and hadn't been concentrating on just what I wanted, perhaps it wouldn't have bothered me at all.

Nick thinks I'm sweet, which amuses me profoundly, especially on days like that... because I was so tempted to turn around and say, "PLEASE BE QUIET!!!" Except... it wouldn't have been polite at all, and quite rude, said in the tone and mood I was feeling.

So they enjoyed the movie, and it was obvious to everyone in the theatre. But it really didn't ruin anything. And we all had a fun time. And I don't think Jesus would have yelled at someone in a theatre.

So... here we are, at the end of a week, and set to begin another one. Perhaps... just perhaps, I show a little more virtue by the end of the week. :P

time flies when you're having... er... oh, yeah... fun.

I've been hugely busy getting ready for the wedding. Got the thrilling letter back from our friends at Immigration which informed us rather cheerfully that the wait would be 5 - 6 MONTHS, as opposed to the three months the chick on the phone on the help (?) line told me. Ah, soooo, the wedding has been set back to December.

After some mad scrambles and frantic brainstorming, we have decided on December 4th for the date. A church is booked, so we won't have to have the service in the showbank.

Currently, this is what we have:
*Ideas on a photographer, have talked with a few, but no one booked yet
*Still arguing about who we want for a caterer.
*Ditto for cake, but know what I want cake to look like.
*I know what i want MY boquet to look like, now to find the florist...
*Think I have the bridesmaid's dresses picked out... but one likes another one better, one will complain because she won't like the top, one says she doesn't have any money for the dresss even though she buys her clothes at Abercrombie and Fitch (which could be why)...
*Ah, the bridesmaids... I am crazy!!! I have asked my friends, but do not have enough guys yet, because am waiting on final answers. However, in England, apparently it is the custom of having many bridesmaids and only one groomsmen; the bridesmaids follow or lead the bridal procession.
*This sounds more like a list of what I have yet to do... *sigh*
*I did find MY dress, and was going to wear ballet slippers with it, but as luck would have it, there will no doubt be sloppy slushy snow about and I'll need huge rubber galoshes. Hmmmmm... not happening.

*Crazy Ideas that are also NOT going to happen*

I had one photographer tell me he was willing to travel, but expected to have hotel accomodation paid for, but he might be bringing an assistant, and she would need a room too...

My dad suggested having dog as a groomsman...

One of my friends thought we should have velvet table cloths, and a huge candle centerpiece on the head table. My hair will probably catch fire and I will have an instant makeover...

Panic began to set in, when she also had an idea for a cake which would be so fancy and expensive it would seriously clean out my bank account, and in fact, had already
arranged with the deli to have it made. While it sounded lovely, it wasn't me... and it wasn't what I wanted, so I tactfully declined, but felt like a jerk for ruining her fun and creativity. And as the panic set in, I felt the metamorphasis of Bridezilla beginning to take over (my mom has several of her own ideas for how a wedding should be properly done, as well as what should never, ever, not even on pain of death, be done; like putting gift registry cards in invitations. I think I'll write to Miss Manners on that one, since I've never thought about it before).

But, I wanted the reception at a hotel, she doesn't -- because hotels have bars, and she wants not alcohal at the ceremony. So I guess we're stuck having it in the moldy church basement with flannelgraphs lying about, and the faint smell of potluck dinners gone by still lingering in the kitchen and dining hall. But with a bit of work, we'll turn it into a winter wonderland of twinkling merriment.

And so, alas, when Nick jokingly suggested just going to Cleveland to watch a football game for our honeymoon, let's just say that I didn't think he was very funny. And I didn't laugh.

OH well, at least I the most necessary things - the church, the pastor, the groom, a date set, and the dress.

Oh, and I'm all set as the bank loves me so much that they approved me for a mortgage... I think I'll wait on the house for a bit. Maybe like... until Nick has the Visa in his hand and we're both sure we dont' have to live in England instead...

Well, toodles for now.