reality check...

I've been so selfish through all this; only thinking about how this whole ordeal has affected me, and how sad I am and how awful it is. Well... I've never thought that perhaps my thoughts on the whole matter aren't necessarily THE reality; that perhaps there's another perspective I'm not thinking about. I've been pretty unfair, nagging him and feeling like he doesn't care. To say he doesn't care just because he doesn't see how my ideas would ever work, isn't fair to him. Obviously, its been a hard thing for both of us to take. Truthfully, it may just not work out. But it may. I think not only have I let Nick down, I really haven't trusted God through any of this; I've just gotten scared and upset and felt sorry for myself. I'm sure a lot of you wondered when I would come to this rather obvious conclusion; it's taken long enough. Too bad there aren't little people that walk around, who's main jobs are to slap people upside the head when they need to get a swift reality check. Aside from the fact that I need so many reality checks that I'd no doubt have a serious concussion or possible brain damage after about one week, it might prove rather helpful in the long run. Anyway, enough said. I've got to get to bed.