Don't laugh - its not funny...

So last night, I go to get my credit card, right? The manager at Wendy's has it safely locked in the office. The only problem is... she also has the keys to the office safely locked in the office. An accident, of course, but I still can't get my card back til the next day. They don't offer me a free hamburger or anything for my harrowing experience. :P

I call my mom (who is at my sister's house) to ask her when she's coming home (she's helping out), and find out that a.) she's coming home on Friday, b.) and that whatever she was watching on America's Funniest Home Videos was uproariously funny. Apparently, it was hilarious. I told her that my friend's husband lost her job. Instead of sounding sympathetic, she roared with laughter.

"I'm sorry, honey, but this dog just jumped on the counter, opened the BREAD BOX with his PAWS, and ran off with the BREAD!!!"

I roll my eyes. I don't think she's listening. I discover that my brother in law just plain odd -- he told my sister that he had a surprise for her, that he was going to get at Wal-Mart (yay!), and got her all psyched up. She finally got him to tell her what it was -- and it turns out he was going to buy her...

a box of butter. They were out of butter, so he thought she would just be so amazed by his thoughtfulness. How did I end up in a family like this? Nick's family is going to think America is one weird place when they come for the wedding.

I think we should start a t.v. show. I bet we'd get more ratings than King of the Hill, the Osbournes, or even the Simpsons. We put the fun in "dysfunctional".

Except that on the Osbournes you pretty much have to guess what they are saying, because they have so artfully woven profanity into their speech that half the show is bleeped out.

Okay, I don't have MTV (I don't even have cable), so I've never actually seen it. I've just heard about it...

And you hear about them... and the show a lot.

Okay... so at first it doesn't look like we have a lot in common. My dad doesn't have a heavy metal band. My mom has never thrown a ham over the fence at the neighbors for having an annoying sing-a-long. However I still think we could have a successful show, just like the Osbournes... some similarities:
Jack (the son) makes the news because he goes into rehab -- my brother (the son) makes the news because he SHOULD be in rehab.

Their pets wreak havoc in the house -- our pets wreak havoc in the house.

Jack also thinks the "F" word is an adjective... my brother thinks the "f" word is an adjective...

...and a positive thing:

Sharon (the mom) holds the family together(even though she's rude to the neighbors) -- my mom holds our family together (even though she watches t.v. when I'm talking to her).